Love and Hate
by Chibi-chan v2.5
Summary: PG*12/16*One-shot*Shuichi POV*Our favorite vocalist from Bad Luck seems to ponder certain things while his lover is sleeping*Warning: Shounen-ai/Fluff/WAFF*


Love/Hate

By: Chibi-chan

**Author Notes:**

Yes, yes…Another Gravi fic from me…But don't worry, this is one a one-shot (my FIRST one at that…GO ME!).  I'll work on the others too, but this one just came to me last night while listening to some songs! Call it instant inspiration.  Like coffee.

Heehee…anyway!  A lot of reflecting on Shuichi's P.O.V. and other stuff…with a little bit of fluff/waff at the end.  All in all, the normal YxS fic.  Oh yea… I don't own Gravi, so don't sue. Nyah! And the beginning are from a sweet Kelly Rowland songs. :P

BTW, you'll prolly know there is some OOC-ness on Shuichi's part…but when you thoroughly analyze his actual character and personality, it's not that OOC.  Oh yea, some humor is in here too…or at least the pitifully attempted kind!

Oh yes. I dedicate this fic to all Gravi fans.

**Story Summary:**

_One question baffles us all: What's the difference between love and hate?_

~ o O @ O o ~

_[I am so in love _

_I am so in hate_

I just can't comprehend it 

_You get me so high_

You get me so low] 

~ o O @ O o ~

It was late.

That was all I knew.  

Bad Luck had stayed late that night.  Getting ready for upcoming concerts, tours, writing and composing music.  Big music production stuff that would get us to the top and even surpass Nittle Grasper or so Seguchi-san says…

I would've left early, but ya' know, that whole K and his "pet" magnum just "gnawing away" at my flesh, didn't excite me for the night.  I can see it now.  Shindou Shuichi found dead in NG recording studio, killed by a psycho manager's gun named Fluffy.  More news on this freaky event tonight at eleven o'clock.   I could just hear a cackle from a weird blonde news reporter.  You know, one of those kind with big, poofy hair.  I mean, you know they're wearing wigs, but it's _them_ who won't admit it.

Also the thought of me coming home to hug Yuki with no head on my shoulders really frightened me.

Mental shudder.

Mental sigh.  

Walking down the long halls of the big complex, I brushed my fingertips against the cool walls, thinking about a certain blonde haired novelist.

I giggled at the thoughts I was having of what we could do tonight.  Maybe Yuki gotten his newest novel finished and we could have some wild, animalistic fun.  That one lingering note made me quiver with some anticipation.  It also made me also zoom down the rest of the hall to the apartment.

Fiddling with my spare key, I slowly turned the key into the door, getting myself psyched up for a little surprise pounce attack, and saving my energy from some other reason.  Devil horns and tail popped up as I kept thinking about heated desires burning down in the pit of my stomach.  Hearing the faint click of the lock releasing its position back into the door…

I was practically now salivating over the ideas that Yuki and I could do, I think I might have broke the door with my next action.

"Tadaima, Yu~" I swing open the door happily, squealing (well more like half yelling) my normal welcome, but cut his name off quickly.  My violet eyes catch my koibito sleeping on the "L" shaped couch, in his usual position: on his stomach.  Slipping off my shoes quietly, I start walking up the small step in my comfortable pink socks with little Yuki faces on the sides of each ankle.  Personally, I love these things, but I don't think he does…because last night, I could of sworn I dreamt of Yuki sitting at the foot of the bed trying to take them off and grumbling, "Damn weird socks…" then something about stealing my patented Yuki boxers…?

I'm pretty sure it was a dream…Or at least pretty-pretty sure because I still had the socks on after all.  But just in case, I hid the extra pair and the boxers.  Can't let him get those now can we?  Besides, I think Yuki finds those boxers a turn-on, he just won't admit it – he's in denial I say; where as, he just says I'm an idiot and need to stop obsessing.  Oh well!

He knows he loves it!  

My Yuki…

Shaking my head out of recalling that weird (well every night with us is weird…except those sexy, heated ones…those are just to die for) night, I tiptoe up to him, kneeling on the hardwood floor.  I watch as his back rises slowly with intake of breath, it's almost hypnotic.  I'm getting sleepy just watching him.  I feel a smile tug at my lips.  

He looks just so damned cute.

No scowl.

No words of disdain.

Just the light sounds of breathing.

He was truly something that could take your breath away.

I'm almost afraid to brush away a stray strand of hair out of his closed eyelids; afraid he might wake up and get mad.  

Spoiling to mood, if you want to call it that, even if there really wasn't any mood.  

Just a nice, calm, and cool atmosphere that seemed to suck us up and plop us back down.

I keep eyeing that strand of misplaced hair and my hand trembles a little as I lift it and bring it to his pale face.  I can almost see his peaceful features glowing under the dim lights of the room.  

Gathering courage, I quickly brush the piece of hair back into a normal place.  Out of the way of his face.

I see him stir quietly and I can almost feel the yell of "Baka!" coming on.  I close my eyes and flinch involuntarily awaiting some kind of harsh words to pop out his mouth. 

A few seconds pass, eyes still closed.

A whole minutes pass, nothing happens.

A minute and a half pass, I cock open and eye and look to see what exactly is going on.

Oh…

Yuki is still sleeping, his arms creating a nest for his head.  His mouth is slightly agape as he breathes.

Scooting forward on my knees, I peer at his slumbering face.  Feeling his warm breath upon my skin chills me, sending the hairs on my neck to stand up and getting goose bumps on my arms. 

I blush, the reddening hue spreading on my cheeks.  I can't believe he didn't wake up; usually the slightly insect flailing around on a windowsill would make him awaken.  

Maybe it was for the best.  I mean I love watching him just sleep…Well, I love him doing anything actually.  Brushing his teeth, putting on a scowl just for me (heehee!), the way he feels the need to feed that fat cat that lives outside…

To put it simply.  Everything about him amazes and mesmerizes me.  

He's so graceful, it makes me wonder why he wants a person like me to be his lover.

I rest my hands on my thighs and just gaze at him.   Staring intently on his figure.

I whisper quietly to myself, "Why.  Why do you stay with me…" Even though he's not awake, I feel it as if he is and I look at one of the white walls, trying to escape that gaze that isn't even there.  Such a nice shade of…white.  Uh, it's really clean?  

I feel my head sink as I start picking at the glossy finishing of the floor.   Yeah, those maids sure can wax one bad floor.  A sigh escapes my lips and I rest my chin on the sofa cushion.

Yuki and I…

Hate and love…

Both concepts, so hard to equally understand and relate to.  Whenever I feel getting close to understanding one of them, the other just seems to spring on me, crashing down the other that I thought I had.

So close, yet so far.

People take love so granted these days.  Teenagers say those three treasured words like they were second nature to them.  I can't believe how people can be so callous of other's thoughts.  

Hate is just the same way.  People go flaunting the words just because of one misunderstanding or so, not really caring what the word's effect have on the other significant person.

Love and hate…

They're like equilibrium.  You need both to balance each other – to complete each other.

But what's the difference between the two?

I love you.

I hate you.

So opposite…Yet so…

Similar.

Both take a person to be able to collect immense feelings for another.  You just eject them differently.

It makes me think.

Yuki is so refined, prim and proper, pampered, has girls hanging all over him, is a famous novelist, has shit happened to him and he's _still_ living on in his life..

Well here I am, the vocalist of a band that borders between the lines of amateur and professional, I'm an airhead, annoying (or so he tells me everyday. Okay okay, almost everyone does.), and don't always think before I react.

We're so very different; it makes me wonder whether we're really right for each other…

Hey…Wonderment. 

That reminds me.

I take a small second to glance at Yuki.

I feel myself getting intoxicated by his very being, looking just at the softened features. 

The curves of his face, the way his hair falls around your face, his labored breathing patterns…

Yuki…

I turn over, my back now resting against the couch, and start staring at the ceiling.   Lights from outside reflected through the large glass door across the rooms.

I looked to the right and see the brilliant sparks of nightlight and artificial city life melding together.  It was pretty, it reminded me of Yuki.

His slightly dark canary colored eyes and pale ivory skin sunk into my mind.  I closed my eyes, wrapping my thin arms around my waist, wishing, hoping, and dreaming that it his warm embrace.

Yuki…

I look at my hands and an idea pops into my mind.  Maybe I can waste the time by entertaining myself.

I lift up my hands to the middle of my chest and use them as a scale of for Yuki and I, but also representing love and hate.

What exactly _is_ the balance between us (and it) all?

We kiss and show our emotions for each other.  Love.

Up goes the left hand.

But we constantly fight over stupid things.

Hate.

Up goes the right hand.

But then we make up.  More love.

A little higher for the left.

Then somehow I always get on his nerves.  More hate…?

A little higher for the right.

I sigh and throw my hands up in the air incredulously.  This is going absolutely nowhere!

I close my eyes for a moment and roll my body back around, resting my chin on my hand. Opening my eyes back up, I stare at the creature before me.

Still sleeping like a little baby.

Heh.  Who thought his Yuki would be capable of a look so innocent.  

"You always seem to surprise me." I croak out a little, hoping I wasn't too loud with my words.

Hmmm…

I stand up, and stretch like a cat, my limbs were actually starting to get stiff there. 

Just laying, rolling, and kneeling on the hard floors.

Peering at the clock, I look at what the big grandfather clock said.

1:25 A.M.

I blinked, I didn't realize I was spacing out so much by Yuki, he always seems to make the time go faster.

Always.

Weird.

I looked back at Yuki from where I was standing.  Gray pants sagged over his slim legs and the black shirt clung to his sleeping form.  

I could still hear him breath…

It was making me quite sleepy actually, well, that and just noticing the time was so late.  
Snapping my fingers, I knew what was missing on Yuki.  I scampered lightly into one of the closets by the bathroom and pulled out a soft, but thin, forest green blanket.  I came back into the room and held it closely to my chest.

I stop in my tracks, and shiver a little, a tiny grin creeping to my face, a glimmer in my eye.  A spark.

When you think about all that's happened, I'm very lucky.

I don't need to know about love or hate.  I don't need to dig my head into the introspective of Yuki's relationship and mine together.

Why you ask?

Because…

Because…

…Yuki loves me.

And I love him…

…That's all that counts to us…

Padding back over to the couch, I whip out the blanket, it slowly spreading and falling down into the air.  It descended almost heavenly on Yuki's sleeping form.  I watched him stir a little, his head nestling more into his forearm.  

Like a heavenly creature…angel…

I quietly sit on the other side the couch, where they both intersect and I lay my head down in the same position as Yuki.  My pink hair brushing against his sandy blonde.

Before resting down, I prop my arm up and I brush away some locks of his hair.  I lower my lips down to his cool forehead and kiss him goodnight.  I unconsciously rub my thumb over the lingering kiss that I left and snuggle back into the position I was in before.

I didn't need a blanket.

Yuki's love was all I needed to keep me warm, to keep my body, heart, and soul (not to mention passion) aflame.

But before I shut my eyes, I look at him through half-lidded eyes and smile mentally…

Yuki would be happy of this "revelation" I came across today.

What is it you wonder?

It's that…

Maybe.

Just maybe.

There _is_ no a difference between love and hate…

And maybe…there's no real difference between Yuki and I.

_~OWARI~_

Author Notes:  
Heehee…I hoped you liked it.  I think the ending was nice.  Lol. And sorry to all you people who wanted Yuki awake, but I think he's cute when he's sleeping! Angelic and innocent indeed.


End file.
